How I learned to love being Single
For the majority of my life I’ve been single, and let everybody around me know publicly how I’ve been the whole time voluntarily talking about it. Joking around.
As I don’t blame my unhappiness or any unfulfilled events in my life on not being in a relationship. Here are some of my inner monologue goes,,,
Background story: Since i was in high school, i was super busy on my study both academics and arts that things were double pressured way more than regular schoolers. I had to focus on my studies no distractions until i went to Uni. There I was entered into whole new stage of my life , to look back it was the first time I felt like I did not have lot of responsibilities like before, way too much of free time , new friends things really kicked off well. I just got into a relationship with someone right away. Boys from different classes , friend of a friend asks me out, texts me and stuff. Really had me flew away a bit during Uni. Overall I think, net positive.
It’s been 6 years since i graduated and paid my taxes to become a legally responsible adult. Yet no official relationships or whatsoever, only there were small number of guys i dated. I mean failed. On the sideline, career was growing, financial stability, traveling making memories and meeting new people. Everything’s great.
Today i was talking to my friends on group call, some of ’em haven’t seen me in a while asked me how’s my dating life been. The question i am so jumpy avoiding most of the time. Because i don’t even have the answer to myself.
As soon as i try to explain they go how are you not seeing anyone?, do you have like higher standards?, don’t you think you put up a wall and not letting anyone in? and ask me what are my types to look for a men, et cetera…
I think i seriously learned to live fulfilling my own happiness, not depending on others to make me feel somewhat to be whole. Surely, i am not used to it. But that does not mean i am like one closed, hardship North Korean border that someone needs extra approval and awareness with. it’s not like that. We say, traditional belief in our society pressures to find the one before it’s too late. And yet, we as surroundings affect each other because it is such a conundrum in this modern day where you want to have a successful career, gained knowledge, and to be smarter, funnier, better that can go on and on.
You want to be your own person before /while searching for your partner. Even before 30, I have time to figure out and one day down the line if I want to get married or find somebody to do that with.
If i have gave myself to relationships over and over, would I be who I am today, absolutely not. I would not settle into the mindset of being the sidekick or the love interest if i’m unsure, I am still the protagonist of my own life even if I’m having a rocky time right now.
