Feelings I never thought I’d have

I’d always wanted to fall in love with someone smarter who speaks my language. Over the years, there were these people i was crushing on hard personally, tried to make it work with. Somehow we did not catch the vibe so strongly to level up in time to time. Could be just a crush after crush. Feelings definitely was not the same but not entirely different at all. I would easily take time to move on just because it did not happen as expected, not that I have a choice.

Learned how to enjoy being alone. To make myself enough for me without needing someone by my side. Everything i do would easily fall in places with me being alone, friends or family. It’s not secret that I enjoy my happy single life more than anything.

Here I am, after quarantine, realized my blessings over single life in this summer. Started out great. Turned out i was beginning to enjoy adventurous meet ups and communications with different interactions. The greater journey i’ve planned has paused a little bit because of a sudden crossing just in a month. Someone who is completely blew my mind and heart surprisingly appeared.

At first, I was so hesitant to every positive things he says to me and explains the situation that we are in together. Gradually, it started to make sense and i’ve let myself sink in. It started with honest conversations and deepest questions i’ve never even asked myself or thought to myself before. He dig deeper to uncover my beliefs on things and what i love or hate about the most. We talk everything everyday despite the -14 hours time difference. He stay all night online, i wake up earlier. This time it feels closer, more honest based, no filter, most importantly he made me feel good about myself in whole other way. There’s literally something on in me, that i never thought i would feel. When he feels bit down, i get confusion on how to cheer him up, cause i really want to. Once I look at, we have planned our little future together, as supporting each other and to have something special for both of us. I’ve never thought i could vibe this easily with someone i’ve never met before. All the feelings he’s giving me are unfamiliar. I know that it will be a disaster and might be a heartbreak as possible, yet i’d love to try out this time.